any blonde jokes post here :)
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any blonde jokes post here :)
guess nobody has any blonde jokes lol u were supposed to put one
i reserve the right not to incriminate myslef. HEHE:)
So this blonde chicks bars burning down and she sitting there on the phone dialing 911 so after they put the fire out and all that the firefighter asks the blonde. Hey we know you were in your bar when it caught on fire so why your neighbor call and not you and she said well i was look at the phone for 20 min officer i couldnt find no 11 on it.
Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out.
After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others "I think the best way to call for help is by yelling together."
The others agree with the first, so they all inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly "Together, together, together."
Q: What do you call an eternity?
A: Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.
Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.
Q: What do SMART Blondes and UFOs have in common?
A: You always hear about them but never see them.
Q: Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms?
A: They think their picture is being taken.
A blonde was speeding on the highway when a police car pulled her over.
The policeman walks up to the blonde and says "Excuse m'am, could I please see your driving license and registration."
The blonde looks at the policeman angrily and says "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two, one to hold the light bulb and one to spin the ladder around!
Q: how many blondes do u need to change a bulb?
A: 5 one is holding the bulb and the other 4 are spinning the table
lmfao i like that ....good 1 lets hear some more.
Blonde enters a swim meet,,,they swim the breast stroke,,,she loses and say,"you mean I was suppose to use my arms".
how do you fit 4 blondes on a stool?
turn it upside down
A blonde city girl named Amy marries a Colorado rancher.
One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy,
'The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today,
so I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above where the cow's stall is in the barn.
Please show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?'
The rancher leaves for the fields. After a while, the artificial
insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door.
Amy takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of cows and when
Amy sees the nail, she tells him, 'This is the one right here.'
The man, assuming he is dealing with an air head blonde, asks,
'Tell me lady, 'cause I'm dying to know; how would YOU know that this is
the right cow to be bred?'
'That's simple," she said. "By the nail that's over its stall,' she
explains very confidently.
Laughing rudely at her, the man says, 'And what, pray tell, is the nail for?'
The blonde turns to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder,
'I guess it's to hang your pants on.'
( It's nice to see a blonde winning once in awhile.)
A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,
"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."
frigggin LoL, keep the jokes coming!
Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.
The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said,
"I think they could be bird tracks."
The second blonde went to look and said,
"No, I think these are deer tracks."
They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!
There was a married blonde who was very concerned about her stupidity to her husband, so she decides to make it up to him by painting the house while he's at work.
When her husband came home, the house was suspiciously green and smelled like paint, so he went to her wife to see what's going on. When he went in the bedroom, she was still painting while she was wearing a ski jacket over a leather jacket. The husband said "I like what you did to the house, but why are you wearing a ski jacket over a leather jacket?" The blonde responds "When I was reading the instructions on the can, it said 'FOR BEST RESULTS, USE TWO COATS!'"
There was a blonde, a brunette, and a red-head that was going on vacation to a native island. The brunette brought a portable fridge with her. The red-head asked her "Why are you carrying a fridge with you?" The brunette replies "To keep all of our food in." The red-head is carrying a shotgun with her. The brunette asks "Why do you have that shotgun?" The red-head says "Just in case we run out of food, we can kill something to eat." The blonde is carrying their car door with her. They both ask the blonde "Why are you carrying our car door?" The blonde says "Just in case it gets too hot, I can roll the window down."
loooool
can't stop laughing :(
hahaha dont know why but i really like that one hahahahha
ha ha, real funny
some of this joker are actually very funny,I don't like jokes about a certain group of people but some of these are nice xD
A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she's smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she's laughing. He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down. He demands, "What's so funny?" She says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!" :D
my gf blondie so i mess with her all the time.. lol she hott but dumb
yeah gotta watch what i say to her.. if i say some bad i be in dawg house lol
blonde jokes are the best ;) so is tosh.0
Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out.
After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others "I think the best way to call for help is by yelling together."
The others agree with the first, so they all inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly "Together, together, together."
Q: What do you call an eternity?
A: Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.
Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.
Q: What do SMART Blondes and UFOs have in common?
A: You always hear about them but never see them.
Q: Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms?
A: They think their picture is being taken.
Two blondes lock thier keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.
Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".
What do you call a blonde with a yeast infection? a quarter pounder with cheese
How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning? fertilized
What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? you can only fit three fingers in the bowling ball
hahahahah... nice topic... blonde jokes are amazing... I will find one...
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.
When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,
"Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!"
She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,
"If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"
The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.
The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."
The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.
Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.
"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
Three blonde friends died together in a car wreck. They found themselves standing in front of the pearly gates with St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter heaven, they had to tell him what Easter was about.
The first blonde said, "Easter is a big holiday where we give thanks, have a big feast and eat turkey."
"Nooooo," said St. Peter. "You don't get in."
The second blonde said, "Easter is the holiday that we celebrate Jesus' being born of the virgin and give gifts to each other."
"Nooooo," said St. Peter. "You don't get in, either."
The third blonde said, "Well, I know what Easter is all about. Easter is a Christian holiday which coincides with the Jewish Passover. After Jesus celebrated Passover with His disciples, He was betrayed by Judas and turned over to the Romans. They crucified Him on a cross. After He died, they buried him in a tomb and put a huge boulder in front of it."
"Very good!" said St. Peter.
The blonde continued. "Now, every year, the Jews roll the stone away and Jesus comes out. If He sees his shadow, we have 6 more weeks of basketball."
St. Peter fainted.
An older joke, but still funny.
President Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar.
A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell sitting over there?"
The barman says, "Yep, that's them."
So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?"
Bush says, "We're planning WW III."
And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Iraqis this time and one blonde with big tits."
The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big tits?" "Why kill a blonde with big tits?"
Bush turns to Powell and says, "See, I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!"