No Offense

[budsfru]

You can always block the chat!

I said that in the 1st sentence Ra.Have you been hitting the bong a little too much? People try to tell me that cannabis is harmless and isn't a gateway drug.Thats TOTAL bullshit.You can die from smoking cannabis.I read it on the internet and the internet does NOT lie!I don't have the article so i will have to paraphrase.From the New Jerk Times 09/23/1958," A 78 year old lifetime resident of New Jerk was killed today in what N.J police have called "he deserved it because all drugs are bad"tragic accident. John Doughnut was on his way to work when a 200 pound bale of smoking cannabis crushed him to death.When asked by reporter Brian Griffin why the cannabis was smoking,N.J.Police Lt. Barney Fife said "because it was on fire stupid,next question."Where exactly did this cannabis come from".Fife responded "from the top of the 420 ft. tall N.J.Police Dept.evidence room"(giggling uncontrollably) ".When asked asked about the rumor that about 200 kilos of cannabis had vanished from the evidence room. Fife responded with"whats a goddamn kilo",again laughing so hard, there was a wet spot near his crotch area,reported Griffin.N.J. Reporter Griffin asked Fife what was so amusing, the Lt. replied " it must those little pills the Doc gave me in the E.R.yesterday for the 2nd degree burns i got on my hands when i pulled that lil baby child out of the car that was on fire"When Griffin asked him that no fire or even any crimes had been filed in the police logbook for "about" two years,Lt. Fife ended the interview suddenly saying he was feeling a "little sick" and also "i think i need a couple of more of those "happy pills".When Griffin persisted with his questions the interview did end suddenly with a final comment by the Lt." Hey Grif" citing their lifelong friendship,i got plenty those "things"you asked me about.The rest of their conversation was mostly inaudible except something about "the doc owes me big time" and "something, something, 2000 refills or the doc is going to ,something, something,be filling an empty hole,something,his own body,something.As professional journalists, another N.J. reporter added that, because N.J. Pulitzer Prize winning journalist Griffin was apparently coming down with the same ailment as Lt. Fife,we cannot comment on the conversation between Griffin and the Lt. because that's "none of your goddamn business".The case had already been closed 43 minutes before the tragic accident that had claimed Mr. Doughnut's life.Even though no forensics had been done,the semicomatose Lt.Fife seemed to have heard this and the Lt. was able to utter"what the fuck did you say about my foreskin"before lapsing back into a coma like state.The case was closed and the cause of death was ruled as a combination, drug overdose, and thagt was fun kilin tht old MFer."Even though, as really,really good Journalists, we can't and will not speculate on what was the second part of the cause of death".we aint even gonna ask" said the 3rd reporter who had never won a Pulitzer.He,also came down suddenly with the same ailment that the Lt. and the reporter Griffin, had painfully endured for about 45 minutes.When asked about the sudden improvement in their health as the exited the now unlocked public restroom,the now very cheerful Lt. said they had used an old family recipe called the sniff and crush,Star Reporter Griffin,also very cheerful and laughing an awful lot said "your dyslexic dude" which we have to admit, we did not understand this phrase or anything else they were saying at that point, but we are glad they had made such a quick recovery.As the second- rate town newspaper journalist,trying to fill in for the ailing first -rate reporter Griffin and who wanted to remain anonamous (sic). said,"we are happy with the outcome of this case and would like to congratulate Lt. Fife for his heroic and selfless duties. We are sad to report that the" i want to remain unamed" second-rate reporter came down with the with the very same ailment that Lt. Fife and Pulitzer Prize winning journalist Griffin, a best selling author of the book Dope is Dope, succumbed to this deadly disease after a 45 minute brave battle, he was found dead in his hospital room by the hero Lt. Fife.Doctors have not found a cure for this rapidly developing disease, but have identified the final stages before death overtakes the victim.Again our hero,Lt.Fife was involved in identifying the final stages of this new scourge.He reported to us that part of the last stages of this deadly virus (the Lt. said its a NEW virus) are a small wound like puncture to the head, followed by an large,explosive type "unpuncture"(Lt. Fife would like credit for this new medical term) to the other side of the head.Although he has yet to determine the reason for the copious amounts of blood spray and brain matter that are somehow left behind on three out the four walls in the victims hospital room,he has assured us that he will solve this disease if has to spend billions in govt.dollars.Incredibly,he has even given this new and deadly disease or virus a name (whichever he decides to call it is fine with us) THE WAR ON SOMETHING SOMETHING.We love it and the name is very well thought out.We have also come to the conclusion that it won't cost much at all to win this "WAR ON SOMETHING,SOMETHING". A billion dollars,HAHAHA. Lt.Fife,besides being a hero, he is also quite the jokester.We had to insist that he uses taxpayer money to fight this disease or virus or something, something, after he jokingly said he could use his own money (he must be a saver because he does have quite a bit of it) Hats of to you Barney,you will always be our hero!!! On a very sad note but unrelated,Lt.Fife seems to have misplaced his Dept.issued firearm,Its a .357 Magnum, Colt Python.We would like to find it for him,but he said he loses his guns all the time.For all he knows, he said it could be at the bottom of a river or under a log in the woods. such a kidder during these trying times.Here is a blank check made out to you, Lt. Fife,to use however you see fit because we trust you and you are now one of us.Thank you again,Lt Fife....... P.S.We forgot to tell you who we are.We are YOU,Sincerly,The U.S GOVERMENT ....... So you see kids,cannabis cills.....er kills

















oron