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  1. #1
    Its 2016. Poker is Dead NeilZelkin's Avatar
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    Fast Food Tilting

    As my 0-15 cashing streak continues with no signs of abating, and I hate to say it, my poker game is regressing to the point where I think I might switch to the Go Fish home game my 5-yr old son hosts every Tuesday at 10:30 am sharp. I think it is 1 Oreo/ 2 Oreo limit Go Fish so I should be able to handle the cookie swings. But I can handle all that. What I cannot handle is real-world stupidity.

    Like the time 2-days ago when I went to my local McDonalds for a little snack. I know. I know. That shit is crap.

    They can call their sandwiches hamburgers. But hamburgers aren't grey in color. A piece of clay is. Hamburgers are a kaleidoscope of browns and reds. And personally, I really don't care what it is. To my sophisticated palate it tastes good.*

    So I go there to order the Daily Double Sandwich. The one that has so much shit piled on it you have a better chance of seeing Bigfoot than getting a good look at the two quarter shaped patties drowning in a sea of lettuce, tomato and Mayo. The cost of this lovely creation $2.03.


    I hand the fresh faced cashier, all of 15 or 16 (and judging by her abilities this might be the peak of her professional career), three singles. Sadly, I had no change on me. But that was about to change. We are all poker players. Math is pretty easy for our lot. She owed me .97 cents change. How would you solve this task?

    A) Give me 3 quarters, 2 dimes, 2 pennies = 7 coins
    B) Give me back my dollar and just spot me the fucking 3 cents
    C) Give me 9 dimes and 7 pennies = 16 coins
    D) Give me 19 nickels, 2 pennies = 21 coins


    If your answer was D you are correct!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. 21 is nice in Black Jack. When making change for a dollar that means you are robbing a beggar holding an old hot chocolate cup on the corner of skid row and shitville. Not as a customer at one of the world's biggest, richest, and recognizable companies.

    BTW---She gave me an attitude when I asked what the hell she was doing. At which point she said she was out of quarters.

    Yeah???? SO... Get some more fucking quarters. Because your gonna need some more nickels as well since you made the executive decision to send me packing with more silver than a Mexican Jewelry store.

    How can you make shit like that up? You can't. Stupidity always sells itself. Gotta go. About to hit 0-for-16.

    More bitching to come?..And please feel free to share your stories of stupidity.

    *For best results smoke 2 to 3 nice bong hits prior to arrival
    Last edited by NeilZelkin; 07-15-2012 at 02:19 AM.

  2. #2
    PokerOwned God TrueOC's Avatar
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    what in the fuck is this post about??? lmao

  3. #3
    PokerOwned Veteran
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    lol what?

  4. #4
    Its 2016. Poker is Dead NeilZelkin's Avatar
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    It is about nothing. Just a stupid everyday life experience that defies logic. She gave me 21 fucking coins to tally up 93 cents. That is a lot of coins on a road to nowhere. I like quarters. The work and smoke great.

    She tilted me like AK vs. AK and losing runner runnner flush

  5. #5
    Its 2016. Poker is Dead NeilZelkin's Avatar
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    And BTW NOW I AM REALLY TILTING. MARCUSKY IS SATAN. THAT LUCK SACK HIT EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN AND MY RUN ENDED AT HIS HANDS ON TWO COOLERS. FROM 3RD TO 12TH IN TWO HANDS.


    GO FUCKING FISH.

    P.S.---I HATE FUCKING PRINGLES

  6. #6
    PokerOwned Demi-God StackSnack's Avatar
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    That is some serious outside the box thinking! I am not sure whether to scratch my head or awe in amazement.

  7. #7
    PokerOwned God Paisleysky's Avatar
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    You folks just don't appreciate creative writing is all. I heart this post!!! lol

  8. #8
    Elite PokerOwned Member
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    very interesting but im here to play poker not buy hambergers lol

  9. #9
    New Member
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    Very funny story.

  10. #10
    PokerOwned God
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    funny story but alot of times there is a penny cup on counter to use did you look for that

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