Q: What do penguins eat for lunch?
A: Ice-burgers!

Q: What do you call a penguin in the desert?
A: Lost!

Q: Where do penguins go swimming?
A: At the South Pool!

Q: How do Penguins drink their cola?
A: On the rocks.

Q: What?s black and white and goes round and around?
A: A Penguin in a revolving door.

Q: Why do two Penguins in a nest always agree?
A: Because they don?t wanna fall out.

Q: What do Penguins like to eat?
A: Brrrrrrrritos.

Q: Who is a Penguin?s favourite pop star?
A: Seal.

Q: What's black, white, black, white, black, white, black, white?
A: A penguin rolling down a hill

Q: What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
A: Starfish.

Q: Where do penguins keep their money?
A: In a snow bank!

Q: Why don?t Penguins like rock music?
A: They only like sole.

Q: What do you call a happy penguin?
A: a Pen-Grin!

Q: What did Morgan Freeman say when Penguins told him they liked March of the Penguins?
A: Why the hell was I narrating it if Penguins can talk

Q: Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
A: Because they haven?t got any pockets.

Q: What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
A: Freeze a jolly good fellow.

Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: An embarrassed penguin.

Q: Have you heard of Flight of the Penguins (sequel to March)?
A: Its a whale of a tale

Religious Zookeeper

The devout zookeeper lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out at the zoo.
Three weeks later, a penguin walked up to him carrying the Bible in its beak.
The zookeeper couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the penguin's beak, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the penguin. "Your name is written inside the cover."