T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house,
Everyone felt shitty. Even the mouse.

Mom was in the whorehouse, Dad was Smoking grass, and I just settled down to a nice piece of ass!!!

Out on the lawn I heard such a CLATTER!
I sprung from my piece to see what was the matter.

Then out on the lawn I saw a big DICK! I knew in a moment, IT MUST BE SAINT NICK!

He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, It didn't take long to see the fucker had fell.

He filled all our stockings with pretzels n beer and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer.

He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart!
The son of a bitch blew the chimney apart!

He cursed and he swore as he rode out of site,
Saying, "Piss on you all and have a hell of a night!"

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone!