if i had any good jokes i would post them lol

i am not a good joke teller sorry

i like to listen to cris rock, he is a funny black comedian, haha damn!

A very sad man went to a bar to drown his sorrows but little did he know that the bar was the HQ to a very dangerous gang. Upon seing the man crying at the table, one of the gang members took his drink from him while railing him telling him this wasn't a bar for cry babies. After that, the crying man starts sobbing even louder, so finally, the gang member tells him, "Before we take you out back and beat the living crap out of you, I want to know why you're acting like such a bitch," Responding, the crying man says, "Well, my father, brother, and dog just died and I was so sad that I came into work late and I got fired and when I came home, I caught my wife cheating on me with another man. I came to this bar to kill myself and I put poison in my drink and YOU drank it!---now I'm going to be charged for murder!!!"

;)

A guy and his little foot tall buddy walk into a bar and ask the barkeep for a brew. He says he can only serve the man, the foot tall guy he just can't. So the man says, "He can play the piano great, any song, if he plays it good, will you give him a beer? Then we'll be on our way."
Bartender says, "Sure why not, play me Great Balls Of Fire." Reluctantly of course.
Little dude walks over and just blazes those keys. Bartender is happy with it, they drink their beer and leave.
Couple days later they come back and ask the same thing.
Bartender says "No, I'm really not all that much into music in the first place, was just doing a one time favor"
The man pulls a lamp out of his pocket. "I have this genie lamp, and I'll trade you for a pitcher of beer for me and my friend. All you do is rub it, and poof, a genie pops out and grants you one wish. That's how I got this little friend of mine. Just one pitcher and then we'll Be on our way."
Bartender again reluctantly says sure. They drink and are on there way.
They come back the next day and walk in, but this time the bar is just full of ducks. A million ducks atleast.
The man goes to the bar and asks the bartender, "Where did all these ducks come from?"
Bartender says "Well, I did what you said, I rubbed the lamp and a genie came out and said he would grant me one wish. So I wished for a million bucks!"
The man slaps his head and replies " Oh shit, I forgot to tell you the genie was a little hard of hearing. Come on, you really think I wished for a foot tall pianist!?!"

Quote:

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Originally Posted by billyjustin

a guy and his little foot tall buddy walk into a bar and ask the barkeep for a brew. He says he can only serve the man, the foot tall guy he just can't. So the man says, "he can play the piano great, any song, if he plays it good, will you give him a beer? Then we'll be on our way."
bartender says, "sure why not, play me great balls of fire." reluctantly of course.
Little dude walks over and just blazes those keys. Bartender is happy with it, they drink their beer and leave.
Couple days later they come back and ask the same thing.
Bartender says "no, i'm really not all that much into music in the first place, was just doing a one time favor"
the man pulls a lamp out of his pocket. "i have this genie lamp, and i'll trade you for a pitcher of beer for me and my friend. All you do is rub it, and poof, a genie pops out and grants you one wish. That's how i got this little friend of mine. Just one pitcher and then we'll be on our way."
bartender again reluctantly says sure. They drink and are on there way.
They come back the next day and walk in, but this time the bar is just full of ducks. A million ducks atleast.
The man goes to the bar and asks the bartender, "where did all these ducks come from?"
bartender says "well, i did what you said, i rubbed the lamp and a genie came out and said he would grant me one wish. So i wished for a million bucks!"
the man slaps his head and replies " oh shit, i forgot to tell you the genie was a little hard of hearing. Come on, you really think i wished for a foot tall pianist!?!"

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lolololol

a dude wih a speach problem had a leak in the ceiling so he went to the hardware store adn asked for a fucket it dude at the counter is like whats a fucket dude was like the thing you put under a leak in the roof the clerk was like o a bucket dude said yea ok he gets his bucket and starts walkin down the street he see a cute dogg in the window walks in ask the clerk if he can have a cock adn spank the clerk said what is that he said a kind of dog she said ok coeckspanal he said yea he get his dogg adn bucket he walkin down the street and see a hotdogg stand he said can i have a butt dude that rann the hotdog stand was like whta a but he said the thing you put hotdog in clerk said ok a bun he said yea ok he has his bun adn bucket and he walkin the dog the dog get loose he see a bum and wa slike hold my but and fuck it while i go grab my cock and spank it hahahhahahahha

Quote:

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Originally Posted by lilg97

a dude wih a speach problem had a leak in the ceiling so he went to the hardware store adn asked for a fucket it dude at the counter is like whats a fucket dude was like the thing you put under a leak in the roof the clerk was like o a bucket dude said yea ok he gets his bucket and starts walkin down the street he see a cute dogg in the window walks in ask the clerk if he can have a cock adn spank the clerk said what is that he said a kind of dog she said ok coeckspanal he said yea he get his dogg adn bucket he walkin down the street and see a hotdogg stand he said can i have a butt dude that rann the hotdog stand was like whta a but he said the thing you put hotdog in clerk said ok a bun he said yea ok he has his bun adn bucket and he walkin the dog the dog get loose he see a bum and wa slike hold my but and fuck it while i go grab my cock and spank it hahahhahahahha

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1/10 or 2/20

Had a hard to understanding your English.

lolololololloolololololooololollolololoololoolollo lolololololollolololllolol!!!

what do u have when u have a cow with no legs? GROUND BEEF lol

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by billyjustin

A guy and his little foot tall buddy walk into a bar and ask the barkeep for a brew. He says he can only serve the man, the foot tall guy he just can't. So the man says, "He can play the piano great, any song, if he plays it good, will you give him a beer? Then we'll be on our way."
Bartender says, "Sure why not, play me Great Balls Of Fire." Reluctantly of course.
Little dude walks over and just blazes those keys. Bartender is happy with it, they drink their beer and leave.
Couple days later they come back and ask the same thing.
Bartender says "No, I'm really not all that much into music in the first place, was just doing a one time favor"
The man pulls a lamp out of his pocket. "I have this genie lamp, and I'll trade you for a pitcher of beer for me and my friend. All you do is rub it, and poof, a genie pops out and grants you one wish. That's how I got this little friend of mine. Just one pitcher and then we'll Be on our way."
Bartender again reluctantly says sure. They drink and are on there way.
They come back the next day and walk in, but this time the bar is just full of ducks. A million ducks atleast.
The man goes to the bar and asks the bartender, "Where did all these ducks come from?"
Bartender says "Well, I did what you said, I rubbed the lamp and a genie came out and said he would grant me one wish. So I wished for a million bucks!"
The man slaps his head and replies " Oh shit, I forgot to tell you the genie was a little hard of hearing. Come on, you really think I wished for a foot tall pianist!?!"

---

hahahaha thats good

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by eqgh5uea

A very sad man went to a bar to drown his sorrows but little did he know that the bar was the HQ to a very dangerous gang. Upon seing the man crying at the table, one of the gang members took his drink from him while railing him telling him this wasn't a bar for cry babies. After that, the crying man starts sobbing even louder, so finally, the gang member tells him, "Before we take you out back and beat the living crap out of you, I want to know why you're acting like such a bitch," Responding, the crying man says, "Well, my father, brother, and dog just died and I was so sad that I came into work late and I got fired and when I came home, I caught my wife cheating on me with another man. I came to this bar to kill myself and I put poison in my drink and YOU drank it!---now I'm going to be charged for murder!!!"

;)

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hahahaha oh man