Man: (to woman) I'd buy you a drink but I'd be jealous of the glass.
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Man: (to woman) I'd buy you a drink but I'd be jealous of the glass.
Vultures Are Flying
As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane.
When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. "Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?" she asked.
"No, thanks," replied the vultures. "They're carrion."
Man: (to woman) Nice legs... What time do they open?
-Worked well every time for me.
Hahaha I love that pun shit.Quote:
Originally Posted by benspocket
Two cannibals are eating a clown, one looks to the other and says "this taste funny to you?"
lol good ones
i love that one. lol ok
what does laying floors and having a girlfriend have in common?
if you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for life.
If anyone's every seen CSI Miami then they should be able to appreciate this joke hahaha
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-..._3739454_n.jpg
hahah thats awesome.
how do you catch a saber toothed tiger?
you dig a hole. put ashes in the hole, then you put peas around the hole.
so when the sabre tooth tiger comes to take a pea you kick him in the ashhole......hahahahahh
thats was retarded. but o well
ok fine heres one then, what do you call a black man flying an airplane? ................................a pilot you racist fu@@
ok then. knock knock. amose. a mosquito bit me.
knock knock. andy..... and he bit me again
Two muffins in a microwave.One of them tells to the other: "Oh it is so hot in here". The other one says: "OH MY GOD, a talking muffin ?!"
Confucius say man who gets stuck in pantry has ass in jam.
what do you call a man with no arms no legs and laying at your front door. matt
Come on guys, I want to hear some of your jokes.... lets keep the tread going.
what do you call a guy with no arms no legs floating in the ocean? BoB
that was not even funny but yah woooooooo points