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Thread: too funny...

  1. #1
    PokerOwned Veteran offrdmom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010

    too funny...

    Hi Everyone,jeez been awhile since I have been in here I just don't have a lot of freetime.I do think of you all and thought I drop this one on ya..TC

    Just in case you need a laugh:
    Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane,
    but only a high school diploma to fix one;
    a reassurance to those of us who fly.

    After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
    The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form,
    and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

    Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
    Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P)
    and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

    By the way,UPS is the only major airline that
    has never, ever, had an accident.

    P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

    P: Something loose in cockpit.
    S: Something tightened in cockpit.

    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S: Live bugs on back-order.

    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a
    200-feet-per-minute descent.
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.

    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.

    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    S: That's what friction locks are for.

    P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
    S: IFF is always inoperative in OFF mode.

    P: Suspected crack in windshield.
    S: Suspect you're right.

    P: Number 3 engine missing.
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

    P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

    P: Target radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    S: Cat installed.

    And the best one for last

    P: Noise coming from under instrument panel.
    Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
    S: Took hammer away from the midget.

  2. #2
    PokerOwned God rrickir's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    ummm OK lol and goood to cya mom too,,,

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    )) funny )

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2010

  5. #5
    PokerOwned Master aldo2010's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    lol, fonny nice one ;=)

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