tell me a joke

[pikeboy412]

heres a great joke:



























r u ready?




























BOB DOLE

[kendiking]

A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. "You aren't so good in bed either!", he shouted and stormed off to work. By mid morning, he decided he'd better make amends and called home.
"What took you so long to answer?"
"I was in bed."
"What were you doing in bed this late?"
"Getting a second opinion."

hahahahahahahahaha ) nice one

[kendiking]

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

[Krjebo]

A homeless man asks another man for two dollars. The man says "Will you use the money to buy booze?" The homeless man replies "No sir, I don't drink." The man then asks "Will you use the money to gamble?" The homeless man replies "No sir, I don't gamble." So the man says "Do me a favor and come home with me. I want my wife to see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble."

A man calls his wife at work and tells her "honey... I have some bad news. We just won the 3 million dollar state lottery." and the wife replies "Bad news? How is that bad news! We can finally live out our dreams!" to which the man responds "The payout is 3 dollars a year for a million years."

A man joins gambler's anonymous. He's given three-to-one odds he won't make it.

A man walks into a poker room and notices two men and a dog playing poker. The dog was playing exceptionally well and the man comments "Wow, that's one smart dog!". "Not too smart." one of the men at the table replies. "Every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail."

[Krjebo]

Why did the elephant not like playing poker in the jungle? Because there were to many cheetahs.

How can you get a sweet and gentle old lady to say the word "fu@k"? Get another sweet and gentle old lady to yell BINGO!

AK: Anna Kournikova. Looks great. Never wins.

[jvnation]

sticks and stones break my bones but if they do I'll kill them.

[kendiking]

Why did the elephant not like playing poker in the jungle? Because there were to many cheetahs.

How can you get a sweet and gentle old lady to say the word "fu@k"? Get another sweet and gentle old lady to yell BINGO!

AK: Anna Kournikova. Looks great. Never wins.

))))))))))))))))) funnnnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

[eveleen]

ooh yeah show me a joke!!

[gimmeabrew]

i was going to say a gay joke butt fuck it

[bmeelneg]

i was going to say a gay joke butt fuck it

hahaha ... very funny ... good one liner I'm gonna use in the future