Poker Joke

[BigBadJohn]

Two couples were playing poker one evening.
Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under
the table to pick them up, he noticed Les's wife, Sue wasn't wearing any
underwear under her dress! Shocked by this, Jim upon trying to sit back up
again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.

Later, Jim went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Les's wife
followed and asked, 'Did you see anything that you like under there?'
Surprised by her boldness, Jim admitted that, well indeed he did.
She said, 'Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500.'

After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of
this offer, Jim confirms that he is interested.

Sue told him that since her husband Les played golf Friday afternoons and
Jim didn't, Jim should be at her house around 2PM Friday afternoon.

When Friday rolled around, Jim showed up at Les's house at 2PM. Sharp and
after paying Sue the agreed sum of $500 - they went to the bedroom, and
closed their transaction, as agreed.

Jim quickly dressed and left.

As usual, Les came home from golf at 6pm. And upon arriving, asked his
wife: 'Did Jim come by the house this afternoon?'

With a lump in her throat Sue answered, 'Why yes, he did stop by for a few
minutes this afternoon.' Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband
curtly asked, 'And did he give you $500?'

Sue, using her best poker face, replied, Well, yes, in fact he did give me
$500.

Bob, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, 'He
came by the golf club this morning and borrowed $500 from me. He promised
he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back.'

Now THAT, my friends, is a poker player....

[SouljaE]

LMFAOO that is the funniest thing ive heard in a while

[BigBadJohn]

A woman asks her husband, 'Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit and coffee?'

He declines. 'Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It's this Viagra,' he says. 'It's really taken the edge off my appetite.'

At lunchtime she asked him if he would like something . . . . . 'a bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a sandwich?'

He declines and says, 'The Viagra really trashes my desire for food.'

Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat. 'Would you like a juicy rib eye steak and scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken ?'

He declines again .... 'No,' he says, 'it's got to be the Viagra. I'm still not hungry.' . . . . .

'Well,' she says, 'Would you mind letting me up? I'm starving.'

[Apostasy_666]

LOL! Epic.

[150tomi150]

A busty blonde sat down at a table in a Las Vegas casino. "I hope you don't mind," she said, "but I play better when I'm naked." She then proceeded to undress. On the very first hand, after some heavy betting, she was head's-up in a monster pot. After the dealer turned over the river card, she flipped her hand over, jumped out of her seat and started screaming, "I won! I won! I won!" The dealer, flustered, pushed her the pot. "What'd she have?" the loser asked the dealer. "I don't know," the dealer said. "I thought YOU were watching."