A man appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.

"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered. "Once, on a trip to the
Black Hills of South Dakota, I came upon a gang of mean bikers who were
threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they
wouldn't listen.

"So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked
him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw
it on the ground. I yelled, "Now, back off, or I'll kick the shit out of
all of you!"

St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?"

"Just a couple of minutes ago."