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  1. #1
    PokerOwned God rrickir's Avatar
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    thought this was funnny:)

    FTP source: Willy Wonka finalizes investment deal with Full Tilt PokerSign up for our Email Newsletter

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    inShare. QuadJacks has learned from a mysterious source close to Full Tilt Poker that eccentric billionaire Willy Wonka has finalized negotiations to buy Full Tilt Poker.
    The source, who identified himself as FTPBillup, claims that the deal was struck virtually overnight.

    “We couldn’t believe it. We thought it was a prank when the call came in. We were in the office trying to concoct more fictional investors to buy time, when Wonka of all people expressed interest. The next day he walked in with duffel bags full of cash and signed the paperwork that evening. He smelled like radishes.”


    When asked why no official announcements have been made, or why the company has frequently chosen to anonymously leak info to media outlets instead of posting statements on its website, FTPBillup shrugged.

    “We’re hard up. Bandwidth isn’t cheap.”

    Rumors of white knight investors have circulated since the troubled company was shut down by the US Department of Justice in April and its subsequent license revocation by the Alderney Gambling Control Commission. Supposed interested buyers have included Jack Binion, Lex Luthor, Bwin.Party Digital Entertainment, French businessman Laurent Tapie, and Cat Fancy magazine. The rumors have been met with increasing skepticism, but FTPBillup insists that Wonka is the real deal.

    The controversial business tycoon made headlines in 1971 when he brutally murdered four innocent children during a tour of his chocolate factory in London. He has also been criticized for use of slave labor and his handling of the Gummy Tapeworms recall of ’92.

    Representatives of Full Tilt Poker have stated numerous times that they would reject any investment deal that did not include the repayment of player balances. When reached for comment, Mr. Wonka was adamant that this is not the case.

    “Wrong, sir! Wrong! In the terms and conditions signed by them, it states quite clearly that all offers shall become null and void if – and you can read it for yourself in this photostatic copy – ‘I, the undersigned, shall forfeit all rights, privileges, and licenses herein and herein contained,’ et cetera, et cetera… ‘Fax mentis, incendium gloria cultum,’ et cetera, et cetera… ‘Memo bis punitor delicatum!’”

    “It’s all there! Black and white, clear as crystal! You get NOTHING. You LOSE! Good DAY, sir!”

    QuadJacks.com – Wednesda
    tooooooooooo funnny they had a big pic of gene wilder, as willy wonka, with article,, but i didnt kow how to get that in her toooo HAHAH)

  2. #2
    PokerOwned God
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    That is pretty funny, thanks for the chuckle, I needed that.

  3. #3
    -(^_^)- ProBlackbird's Avatar
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    Hahaha I just WTF!? LOL
    PokerStars: ProBlackbird | Betsson: ProBlackbird | Party Poker: UnknownFlush

  4. #4
    Elite PokerOwned Member
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    LMAO , I needed a good laugh , been a long week Thanks for sharing

  5. #5
    PokerOwned God
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    thats was funny, thanks for the laugh, i needed that..

  6. #6
    Elite PokerOwned Member
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    Poor willy Wonka Is rolling Over In His Grave such A Great Movie

  7. #7
    PokerOwned God Drywallman3's Avatar
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    oompa looompa dupity day!!

    20:58 <Poof> I would trade my husband for gisele
    18:37 <thepokerkid> @thepokerkid: and stop thinking about gay things

  8. #8
    Elite PokerOwned Member lulabell79's Avatar
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    Just when you think you have seen it all.. that's funny!

  9. #9
    Elite PokerOwned Member
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    Dammm I Want Chocky now !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. #10
    PokerOwned God rrickir's Avatar
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    i got from quadjacksradio, and they had this article up lolol, they always have good shows on th eir radio tooou all should give a listen sometime

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