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  1. #1
    Its 2016. Poker is Dead NeilZelkin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    510

    Its not you...Its me...

    After three years as an esteemed member of PokerOwned, I feel like I have been more of a taker than a giver from the PokerOwned community. During this time, I have taken lots and lots of poker chips from virtually everyone who calls PokerOwned home. Yet, the only time I can find time to return this generosity is when bad luck pays me its occasional visit. Bad luck is the only thing that keeps poker interesting because without it I would never lose. So in my book (Yet-to-be-released) it is God actually giving back some chips not me. I just take, take, take.

    Who cares? You ask. I do because as time has gone on, I have come to learn that PO members are good god-fearing folk who deserve better than to have someone of my abundant skills work their magic and after a bluff here, a good read there, unceremoniously separate them from their stack. With each stack I take, each player I bust, unseen to all but me, my conscience makes another deposit at the 1st National Bank of Guilt. And as you would expect, after three straight years of non-stop success, the deposits have added up leaving me a bitter and broken man. I find myself cursing my otherworldly poker talent when most poker players would kill to have 1/10th of my natural ability. The sleepless nights wasted lying in bed next to my usual sleeping companions (two or three bikini models) pondering the plight of my overmatched peers and their disappearing poker chips when I should be doing what any normal guy would do in my shoes, treating my bunkmates to a slide on Neil?s wild ride.

    My life, as it is now, is unmanageable. Spending $500 on bikini models so that they can watch me lie in the corner of my bed in the fetal position quietly whimpering like an infant. Spreading nothing but a feeling of loss and worthlessness to a group of people whose very foundation is community and self-improvement. I understand, my therapist understands and my general counsel understands that something needs to change or I am gonna end up losing my mind. Besides my morning masturbation, sanity is something that I treasure more than anything.

    I need to start giving back to PokerOwned. It is that simple. So starting today, every time you sit next to me at a poker table just know that whenever my chips end up in your stack, it wasn?t skill or luck that brought them your way, it was ME!!! And my decision to save my sanity by giving back to a great group of adults who have spent the last 36 months generously giving to me.

    thanks,

    neil zelkin as told to Janish.

  2. #2
    TON is Gone.
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    1,031
    Well ok then.
    TON is GONE. Blame the Mods. They stopped caring, or at least that's how it looks and feels.

  3. #3
    Elite PokerOwned Member shellabella's Avatar
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    Dec 2011
    Posts
    757
    I think I wouldn't mind sitting next to Neil..at a poker table. Do you play on Pokerstars?

  4. #4
    Its 2016. Poker is Dead NeilZelkin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    510
    No I am in the USA. Land of the Free Home of No Online Poker.

  5. #5
    CEO - Truth Commission rivdee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    2,588
    The only thing that could have made this post better is if you used courier new and double line spaced it.

  6. #6
    PokerOwned God Drywallman3's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    4,100
    I enjoy taking your llb's ............... go white sox

    20:58 <Poof> I would trade my husband for gisele
    18:37 <thepokerkid> @thepokerkid: and stop thinking about gay things

  7. #7
    PokerOwned Demi-God s810car's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    1,158
    fk it shoulda used Wingdings font
    Always Remember Your Roots



    Makeup Owed: http://www.pokerowned.com/forums/f31/makeup-thread-post-your-makeup-here-27604.html

  8. #8
    Its 2016. Poker is Dead NeilZelkin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    510
    LLB. And it was once and you had to come in first just to win. 8 3 off to win. The only joker in the deck is you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drywallman3 View Post
    I enjoy taking your llb's ............... go white sox

  9. #9
    PokerOwned God DuckU408's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    1,554
    Quote Originally Posted by NeilZelkin View Post
    After three years as an esteemed member of PokerOwned, I feel like I have been more of a taker than a giver from the PokerOwned community. During this time, I have taken lots and lots of poker chips from virtually everyone who calls PokerOwned home. Yet, the only time I can find time to return this generosity is when bad luck pays me its occasional visit. Bad luck is the only thing that keeps poker interesting because without it I would never lose. So in my book (Yet-to-be-released) it is God actually giving back some chips not me. I just take, take, take.

    Who cares? You ask. I do because as time has gone on, I have come to learn that PO members are good god-fearing folk who deserve better than to have someone of my abundant skills work their magic and after a bluff here, a good read there, unceremoniously separate them from their stack. With each stack I take, each player I bust, unseen to all but me, my conscience makes another deposit at the 1st National Bank of Guilt. And as you would expect, after three straight years of non-stop success, the deposits have added up leaving me a bitter and broken man. I find myself cursing my otherworldly poker talent when most poker players would kill to have 1/10th of my natural ability. The sleepless nights wasted lying in bed next to my usual sleeping companions (two or three bikini models) pondering the plight of my overmatched peers and their disappearing poker chips when I should be doing what any normal guy would do in my shoes, treating my bunkmates to a slide on Neil?s wild ride.

    My life, as it is now, is unmanageable. Spending $500 on bikini models so that they can watch me lie in the corner of my bed in the fetal position quietly whimpering like an infant. Spreading nothing but a feeling of loss and worthlessness to a group of people whose very foundation is community and self-improvement. I understand, my therapist understands and my general counsel understands that something needs to change or I am gonna end up losing my mind. Besides my morning masturbation, sanity is something that I treasure more than anything.

    I need to start giving back to PokerOwned. It is that simple. So starting today, every time you sit next to me at a poker table just know that whenever my chips end up in your stack, it wasn?t skill or luck that brought them your way, it was ME!!! And my decision to save my sanity by giving back to a great group of adults who have spent the last 36 months generously giving to me.

    thanks,

    neil zelkin as told to Janish.
    how about try to contribute to the website and go do some survey and task.


    This is getting old. Were sick and tired of the Spurs owning us. This is the year we ride up to the challenge, Get the monkey off our back! We Believe GO Dubbssss!!

  10. #10
    Its 2016. Poker is Dead NeilZelkin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    510
    Quote Originally Posted by DuckU408 View Post
    how about try to contribute to the website and go do some survey and task.
    How about go try and get a golden donkey. Oh wait, u have 84 of them. My bad. Should be renamed the Golden Duck. BTW I have earned over a quarter million points in my time here. So I have put in the work.

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