I suck!!

As 19Neverumind57 so eloquently put it this afternoon, "Cubs you are terrible. You are everything that's wrong with freerolls." With my exceptional powers of deduction and reasoning I took that to mean I am a donk and I suck. I guess Mr. 13%ITM that you are right because me, with a mediocre 23% ITM took a two month hiatus that I ended this week. I had grown tired of playing meaningless poker because I have never and will never think of Merge as anything more than a joke. It makes a mockery of poker. And this is not sour grapes by a player who was labeled a donk by a bigger donk earlier today. Even when I do not get busted on the river and do well I see the same shit over and over again. Quads, runner, runner, runnear for the suckout win, a one outer hitting on the river. I play too few hands to be seeing that kind of shit. It is joker poker. And you Mr. Nevermind are also a joker.

The truth is, as long as online poker in the USA remains fucked, my game is going to end up that way to.
There is no question that over the last 24 months I my poker skills have dulled due to a lack of respect for the integrity of the games I see and the lack of trust I have with ever getting paid.

Back in the day circa 2009 I knew that be it Stars or Bodog if I won I was getting paid. Sure it took a week or two but once I won it was money in the bank. So I cared it was nice money to make.
Turning a $10 satty into $1200 or $2000 with 10 good hours of play in two tournaments was a great feeling. And after you do it once, and realize it can be done, you want more and sharpen your skills more and BAM you do it again in 6 months. Then you do it again in 3 months. I had incentive to do so.

Now it has all changed. And that makes me just plain depressed. Watching your game start to wilt with a lack of water after having spent five solid years building my game by playing hundreds of thousands of hands, going from a donk to a winning tournament player who was on an upward trajecectory evidenced by my cashes continually getting larger and more frequent. Now not so much.