Horribad Pokerowned Players

[TheHaversham]

This one'll be quick...just an update for Fancygirl1212, lol, who played another hand brilliantly and showed us why we love her:

ChipTool1 Posts SB 25.00
azrael112 Posts BB 50.00
JohnBrownsDream Calls 50.00
GregorSamsa Calls 50.00
bug5961 Folds
burgdogky Folds
len72959 Folds
RowJimmy Calls 50.00
Fancygirl1212 Calls 50.00
ChipTool1 Calls 25.00
azrael112 Checks

So there's our pre-flop action. I think by now we all understand JBD's game, amirite? No min-raise, no 3x, means he might actually have a hand with his UTG limp. GregorSamsa calls as well, he's loose too, and possibly on to the same thing I am, which is that JBD is ripe for a trap here. And I have the Fancygirl1212 on my left. I look down at 88, a dreaded middle pair. Normally this might be a raise spot, but it's pretty unlikely I'm shaking off either of those limpers, and incredibly unlikely that Fancygirl is EVER folding ANYTHING on the button, so my raise would be pointless in that it would only accomplish building a pot for me to play in an awkward position with a marginal hand. I'm feeling pretty good that if I don't hit a set, I'm gone on the flop. Which comes:

8s Ks 7h

Ok...straight draws & flush draws abound, and of course ChipTool1 lives up to his name and fires out a post-oak donk bet. Amazingly, JBD flats, which tells me he has KKK or air, GregorSamsa calls because he has no clue and what's another 50 chips (part of why they call it the donk bet in the first place). But I'm having no part of this, so I drop a few extra chips in the pot, using one of my time-honored tricks of only using the digits that make up the previous bet, mostly for fun, but also because sometimes an idiot might think I've mistyped my call or something. And of course, to absolutely nobody's surprise, Fancygirl1212 makes what she probably thinks at the time is a great trap-call, because why would she want to protect a 2-pr hand on a board with that texture when she can flat almost half her remaining stack with such a powerhouse?

ChipTool1 Bets 50.00 <------donk bet...dropping the minimum, from OOP, into a 5-way pot, lol. Brilliant.
azrael112 Folds
JohnBrownsDream Calls 50.00 <--|
GregorSamsa Calls 50.00 <-------very few hands warrant this kind of passive play, but I digress.
RowJimmy Raised to 505.00 <------ I'm having none of it. Near-pot-sized bet.
Fancygirl1212 Calls 505.00 <----- Is anyone surprised at this point? Any spades, any K, any 7, any two cards between 5 and A, suited or not, and she'd be unable to get away from it. Happy happy joy joy!! She just happens to actually think she's the one trapping, but still, with 1400 chips, putting 1/3 in on a flat call, with 3 players left to act, is the move she's perfected, lol.
ChipTool1 Folds <---- Well, duh.
JohnBrownsDream Folds <---- Aaaaand, that answers that question. Prolly not folding AA or KK now.
GregorSamsa Folds

So at this point, I've got the pot narrowed, once again, to just me and Fancygirl1212, something I'd envisioned happening long before I put my first chips into this pot. I'm really hoping she makes some kind of 2-pair on the turn, which comes:

Qc

Oh, bingo is my name-O. None of the draws has hit - spades or flush - and I have the callingest calling station that ever called on my left, completely committed to the pot. I give her exactly what she wants, and I bet her stack:

RowJimmy Bets 858.00
Fancygirl1212 All In 858.00

No thought whatsoever, she calls it in and probably thinks she's got me pinned against the wall. Instead, I'm a 95% favorite over her raggedy K7o. A textbook example of how playing absolutly every button - including your trash hands - can get you in serious trouble. But not Fancygirl, she knows something we all don't, because, with but 2 outs left in the deck for her, the river brings

Kd.

El. oh. El.

RowJimmy Shows 8c,8h
Fancygirl1212 Shows 7s,Kc
Fancygirl1212 Won 3176.00 from Pot 1 with Full House - Kings over Sevens

As I watch Fancygirl collect my chips and type in her "lol," I can't help but laugh along with the emoticon mocking me. Thank you, Fancygirl1212, for once again confirming what we all know. No doubt this hand cements ever further into your mind the idea that you are really on top of your game, that any two can win and so should be played in every instance, and that you trapped me beautifully. Nice hand, young lady...VERY well-played.

I'm left with enough chips to shove preflop a few hands later (and triple up thanks to my own running miracles - A8>TT>A7 on a board of 75T...9...J), but the sting lingers long after. The best part is, by the time I'm done typing this I've checked the lobby and she got KO'd but 5 places behind me, passing my chips on to some deserving up-and-comer.

All hail Fancygirl1212! Thank you so much for the action!

[pr41]

PO Post of the Year nominee. "As I watch Fancygirl collect my chips and type in her "lol," I can't help but laugh along with the emoticon mocking me." Pure Gold.

[TheHaversham]

PO Post of the Year nominee. "As I watch Fancygirl collect my chips and type in her "lol," I can't help but laugh along with the emoticon mocking me." Pure Gold.

Ha! Not trying to win anything other than chips, but thanks. Damn spiteful emoticons, anyway, lol.

[TheHaversham]

Today's installment highlights the stellar play of someone I'm certain you're familiar with. We can't, however, be sure exactly who it is, since their screenname indicates that it's actually TWO players.

MyriamAndMax is undoubtedly known for a MyriadOfBadness, but this particular play puts him/her on level with Fancygirl.
He/She starts the hand with 5bbs - just over 1000 chips. UTG player is ptbros1972, who also makes a fairly questionable play with his stack, but we'll save him for another time. I was not involved in this hand, but the play was too brilliant for me to pass up.


RowJimmy Posts SB 50.00
italian3140 Posts BB 100.00
ptbros1972 Raised to 200.00
boom247 Folds
MyriamAndMax Calls 200.00
Veyesine Folds
IamyourGod75 Folds
DollarsAndCents Calls 200.00
ChipTowerzVA Folds
RowJimmy Folds
italian3140 Calls 100.00

So...there's our pre-flop action. Ptbros1972, starting the hand with just over 5bbs, decides his best option here is to min-raise from UTG. Obviously, in a game as tight as a PO freeroll, this strategy is sure to work. Except that only two seats over is MyriamAndMax, one of PO's loosest and most passive. With only 5bbs him/herself, she looks down at two cards that compel him/her to call 1/5th his/her stack preflop. Probably setting up some kind of future bluff-calldown. Another caller can't get away, nor can the big blind, who is also critically short-stacked.

The flop drops, showing A♣5♥9♥

An interesting texture, for sure, and with 3 short-stacks in the hand, our Big Blind, italian3140, takes the initiative and finally gets the rest of his li'l pile in. It's unlikely he called with an Ace of any strength, so it's likely he's on some kind of draw. Since ptbros1972 min-raised, we have to assume he likes his hand, and you have to admire this "trap" with only a few blinds remaining. Clearly he was looking for action (which in this game is like looking for tie-dyes at a Grateful Dead show).

italian3140 All In 772.00
ptbros1972 All In 873.00
MyriamAndMax All In 832.00
DollarsAndCents Folds

As expected, ptbros1972 follows italian3140 into the pot with his remaining 4.5bbs, and our friend MyriamAndMax, after giving it quite a bit of thought, springs the trap with a call as well. I'm on the edge of my seat awaiting the collision of these monster hands...


MyriamAndMax Shows 8♣6♠ <-----You KNOW you'd have a hard time mucking that.
italian3140 Shows 2♥Q♥
ptbros1972 Shows A♦Q♦

There's really only one surprise in there. Italian3140 does indeed have a Q-hi heart draw, and ptbros1972 effectively trapped himself with a hand that should have simply shoved his 5bbs pre-flop, AQ. Our hero, MyriamAndMax, was in a real quandary. He/she has now seen an UTG raise (which he/she called), a 4-way Ace-hi flop with two hearts, a Big Blind shove, followed by that early raiser's shove as well. Naturally, as an 11% favorite in the hand, he/she simply cannot at this point get away from the 86 offsuit. It had so much promise pre-flop as well, after all, since it could make twice as many flushes as either of the other hands.

Well..the turn was a calamity, bringing the 6♥. He/she got it in praying for one of those 3 non-heart 7's, but alas, it wasn't to be.

MyriamAndMax Out <------But how does that miss???
italian3140 Won 3166.00 from Pot 1 with Flush Queen High
ptbros1972 Won 120.00 from Pot 2 with Pair of Aces
ptbros1972 Won 41.00 from Pot 3 with Pair of Aces

Normally the protagonist in these stories goes on to win some massive pot, but not this time. We can only hope that MyriamAndMax will continue to show the passive-aggression that it takes to call-call off a stack with 3 outs in the deck. Undoubtedly this play has worked many times in the past, and I'm sure it will work again someday. Maybe we'll even get a chance to analyze it in this thread.

[samitheman99]

lol someone is on tilt !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[TheHaversham]

In the second half of today's two-parter, we show off why chasing every single draw is absolutely the key to solid freeroll poker.

We arrive at the final table of the late PO freeroll. While I am sitting on just under 20bb's, it's not as uncomfortable as you might think considering that I'm actually one of the top stacks. Still, 20bbs is 20bbs, and there's simply not much room for fancy play.

The Big Blind in this hand, NuGHuFFer712, is also sitting on 20bbs, slightly more than I, after recently lucking his way from bottom stack at this final table by getting his chips in behind on a flush draw. Which brings us to this hand:

We're down to 6, and I'm on the button. I look down at Q♥T♥. Not a powerhouse, but certainly two broadway cards is fine to open from the button. I pop it my standard 2.25x. I make these smallish raises when the antes get big for a few reasons. First is pot control. Nobody is fat-stacked, so keeping pots manageable is good for everyone who isn't holding AA or KK, which is usually everybody. I'm also comfortable playing most of the PO freerollers post-flop. Also, if I'm re-raised, I have no trouble getting away from a small pot. Additionally, sometimes I actually have a hand, so my smaller raises induce a lot of idiotic bluffs.

The small blind, Ch1pG0tt1870, makes a very loose call. I can't remember exactly how many chips he had (and of course Carbon's HH's don't bother to clarify), but I do recall thinking that with his stack, he's either way too loose or setting up a trap. Given that I'd watched him play for a while, I was fairly confident in ruling out the trap. If he'd had a hand to play, it should have been for all of his chips.

The big blind, our hero in this story, also makes the call. Now, with my small raise, he could have almost anything, and since I've only seen him play loose and aggressive, I'm perfectly fine letting him come into a raised pot from out of position. If he fires off a donk bet, it only serves to narrow his range. Yes, there will be times when I am trapped, but with our stacks, that worry is less relevant, as if I hit the flop, I'm not likely to fold. If we were much shorter, I could hit a flop AND have him show me an overpair, and good ol' mathematics would still justify a call. But generally, at 20bbs, most of the hands he'd have that have me beaten pre-flop should generate a 3bet of some kind. But no, he just calls, which is exactly what I want.

With the pot now at 8400, or 7bbs, we see a flop:

2♦6♠Q♠

For my Q♥T♥, this is a decent flop. Top pair but a shady kicker. Ch1pG0tt1870 doesn't have enough chips to do anything other than shove, so when he checks that flop, it only confirms what I've already known - he's loose. And he missed. He makes his best play thus far in the hand by folding.

But NuGHuFFer712 does NOT fold, instead he fires out a perfect 3/4-pot-sized donk bet. Now, given our stacks, I can safely assume that if he's got me beat at this point, he's likely to have waited to see my C-bet then check-raise his pile. This donk bet, conversely, confirms that I am ahead in the hand. It's very likely he has a weaker Queen, a strong 6, or some variation on a draw or combo draw. He makes the pot look delicious, so I ship my pile in, putting him to the test. Does he want to put his tournament on this hand?

He tanks for a bit...we have, after all, been playing for over 2 hours, we're down to just 8, and he has to know at this stage that his hand is trailing. But that doesn't deter him...the answer to my question is "Yes," and he calls himself down to just a big blind or so with:

T♠7♠

No pair, no straight possibilities, just a naked ten-high flush draw. Pre-flop, I was favored about 70/30...after the flop, once the chips get in the middle, I've lost a little ground, sitting at about 63/37. The turn, teaser tho she was, drops a helpful Q♣.

In these all-in situations online, unlike in a live tourney, there is no pause for dramatic effect. We don't cut away to a Milwaukee's Best Light commercial, hanging on the anticipation of the final card. No, with me now leading a comfortable 82/18, and knowing he has but 8 outs remaining in the deck, the end comes swiftly: 3♠

NuGHuFFer712 would go on to win the tourney, undoubtedly confirming his own brilliance. Ch1pG0tt1870 got 2nd which is another win for us all. These are the players upon which we depend, and these are the finishes which we must accept occasionally for them to continue to play the way they do.

KUDOS to today's Horribad PokerOwned freerollers. You've demonstrated yet again that poker is, after all, a game of luck.

[mike7734]

lol this is very funny but true Haversham!! keep more coming!!

[United]

Hey, how bout these sharks.
First, there's a short-stack who limp-reshoves 30bbs with 22: BLUFFEDinWACO87
Next, there's the big-stack who limp-calls 45bbs with 44: sickreadtwenty3
And of course, the mid-stack who open-shoves 45bbs with Q5...but it was sooooooted: VinnieDestino

So we have three horribad players getting all or most of their chips in the middle pre-flop. Can you guess who wins?

Fancygirl1212 Posts SB 15.00
holdemMattknightes Posts BB 30.00
MichMan79 Folds
BLUFFEDinWACO87 Calls 30.00
RowJimmy Calls 30.00
totalmaniiac2 Folds
tomtom26 Folds
dca10101 Folds
sickreadtwenty3 Calls 30.00
VinnieDestino All In 1370.00
Fancygirl1212 Folds
holdemMattknightes Folds
BLUFFEDinWACO87 All In 848.00
RowJimmy Folds
sickreadtwenty3 Calls 1340.00
BLUFFEDinWACO87 Shows 2d,2s
sickreadtwenty3 Shows 4c,4h
VinnieDestino Shows Qc,5c

Flop is 6KT...Turn is 5...River is T.

BLUFFEDinWACO87 Out
VinnieDestino Won 2709.00 from Pot 1 with Two Pair Tens and Fives
VinnieDestino Won 984.00 from Pot 2 with Two Pair Tens and Fives

Our donkey VinnieDestino would go on to 3bet all-in the very next hand with his 75bbs and KQo. But he wasn't done! He followed that up the very next hand by open-shoving all 75bbs again with A6o, spiking a 6 to beat the AJo who had "trapped" him, lol.

Thanks, VinnieDestino!!! You're why some of us cash checks! We wish you continued good luck.

Oh god I was in this hand and I remember it!

I lold for a good 5 minutes after this hand.

[lorenz0wns]

lol great series brah, i enjoyed reading these.

[Drywallman3]

that's a lot of typing for 5 points